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The Wise and True Prophets of Comedy (Part 2): Bill Hicks

Jason Cooper — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:22:32 +0000

Hicks: The smoking "Truth-Seeker" of comedy

I now like to turn your attention to the late Bill Hicks, who was in the same mould as George Carlin, featured in the post ‘The Wise and True Prophets of Comedy (Part 1): George Carlin’.

In fact, the young Bill Hicks was very much inspired/influenced by the older George’s style and subject matter.

Fortunately for us lost deceived souls, Hicks decided to produce and to display his own brand of social commentating and irreverent comedy.

Here is an excerpt from the Bill Hicks Official Website of Hicks’ biography which describes him as being a down-to-earth guy, who was always frank and always seeking truth within the mystery of life – all this despite being struck down in his prime by a terminal illness:

Despite his illness, Bill was at peace. He spent time with his parents, playing them the music he loved and showing them documentaries about his interests. He called friends to say goodbye and re-read J.R.R. Tolkein’s The Fellowship Of The Ring.

On February 7th, 1994, Bill wrote his last words to the world:

I was born William Melvin Hicks on December 16, 1961 in Valdosta, Georgia. Ugh. Melvin Hicks from Georgia. Yee Har! I already had gotten off to life on the wrong foot. I was always “awake,” I guess you’d say. Some part of me clamoring for new insights and new ways to make the world a better place.

All of this came out years down the line, in my multitude of creative interests that are the tools I now bring to the Party. Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me. I’d read these words and off I went – dreaming my own imaginative dreams. Exercising them at will, eventually to form bands, comedy, more bands, movies,anything creative. This is the coin of the realm I use in my words – Vision.

On June 16, 1993 I was diagnosed with having “liver cancer that had spread from the pancreas.” One of life’s weirdest and worst jokes imaginable. I’d been making such progress recently in my attitude, my career and realizing my dreams that it just stood me on my head for a while. “Why me!?” I would cry out, and “Why now!?”

Well, I know now there may never be any answers to those particular questions, but maybe in telling a little about myself, we can find some other answers to other questions. That might help our way down our own particular paths, towards realizing my dream of New Hope and New Happiness. Amen.

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

On Saturday, February 26th, 1994, Bill died. He was 32.

Why not Change this Amusement Ride of a Life for the Better?

In the following video, Hicks offers up a metaphor of life as being an amusement park ride, as he tells us to ride with love and truth, rather than with fear and hatred…

Final Destination: Peace on Earth with us laughing all the way.

The Wise and True Prophets of Comedy (Part 1): George Carlin

Jason Cooper — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 10:42:18 +0000

Carlin: The "Socrates" of comedy

Wisdom and Truth can be garnered from the most unlikely of places – none more so than the spectacle of stand-up comedy. So I’d like to introduce you all to two such past comedic greats who can be considered true prophets of their craft.

The comedians in question were George Carlin and Bill Hicks, who both penetrated our conscience, and raised our consciousness with their pinpoint insights and observations into all the pretentious bullshit and hypocrisy that society propagated and continues to propagate – not to mention, provoking uncontrollable laughter at the same time.

Both Carlin’s and Hicks’ social and political views were considered controversial at the time – but controversy does not mean that they were wrong.

Here is an excerpt from the George Carlin Official Website detailing Carlin’s autobiography ‘Last Words’ which contains his comedic value, iconoclastic views and philosophy of life:

LAST WORDS also delves into Carlin’s work as a stand-up comedian, and his acting aspirations, in which he offers a frank account of his talent: “I was devastatingly inept! There were no Oscars in sight.” In the end, the book is a celebration about a boy from Harlem who knew how to make people laugh and forever changed the face of comedy in America and the world.

George… on politics: I had a left-wing, humanitarian, secular humanist, liberal inclination on the one hand, which implied positions on myriad issues. On the other I had prejudices and angers and hatreds towards various classes of people. None of which included skin color or ethnicity or religion. Well—religion, yes. I used to get angry at blue-collar right-wingers but that passed because I saw that in the end they were just a different sort of victim.

…on values: The worst thing about groups are their values. Traditional values, American values, family values, shared values, OUR values. Just code for white middle-class prejudices and discrimination, justification for greed and hatred. I believe in giving everyone, as I encounter them, one at a time the full value of their dignity and their honor in the world. Whether I’m seen as a celebrity on an elevator or I’m just George the stranger, I open myself to them and I take them in and I give them everything I would want myself in terms of treatment, feeling and consideration. I call that a value.

…on being an individual: It always seemed to me that the reasons groups came together were superficial. The group didn’t feed me and I had nothing to contribute to it. I had a deeper goal, this giant puzzle to work on, which was only going to happen if they left me alone… The aloneness of the stage makes groups irrelevant. Few things dramatize the face-off between loner and group more starkly than the artist before the audience. And there’s no irony here. If this loner can’t get the audience to act as a group—laugh together—he’s fucked.

The Truth or not the Truth – That is the Question

In the following video, Carlin offers us some good advice, as he tells us to question everything we think to be true…communicated in his own irreverent but humorous way of course.

Read part 2 of the series: ‘The Wise and True Prophets of Comedy (Part 2): Bill Hicks’.

4 Important Steps Towards Discerning Truth in a World of Deception

Jason Cooper — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 08:57:49 +0000

Extra, extra, read all about it! Amazingly, somebody tells the truth for once!

For all you movie buffs out there, let me start this post with a relevant quote from ‘The Matrix’, which will hopefully give you some sense of where this particular post is coming from:

“What is “real”? How do you define “real”?”

“This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”

“I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.”

“Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream, Neo? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world? ”

“The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.”

“What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.”

“Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.”

“If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then ‘real’ is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”

“The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it.”

“There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”

It maybe a movie but there is a pertinent message for humanity behind it’s plot.

Wake up out of your Dream world of an Illusion and Seek the Truth

A few questions you should ask yourselves:

What is the truth?

Who can we really trust in this apparent world (The Matrix) of deception?

Should we trust:

The Educational System?
The Religious Leaders?
The Media?
The Law?
The Government?
The Conspiracy Theorists?
Or in fact, any sort of so-called authority of information and knowledge, such as the ones mentioned above, who are suppose to be the benevolent and wise leaders of truth, integrity and justice?

The next thing I’m about to say may contain more than an air of cynicism and conspiracy, but if we are to be honest with ourselves, frankly, we have been led down the garden path for most of our lives.

Unfortunately, there are powerful people out there who choose to monopolise the dissemination of knowledge and information to the masses, and who wish nothing more than to seduce our minds to the point of slumber whilst manipulating us towards submitting our will, freedom and very lives for them to do what they wish – no matter how pernicious.

In other words, through our own ignorance (which is mostly conditioned into us from childhood) we are unbeknowingly empowering them to enslave us psychologically.

Now is the time to take back this power and learn to empower ourselves with the knowledge and wisdom that can eliminate these masters of deception (aka disinformation agents), so that we can then emancipate our minds towards a joyful existence filled with integrity, truth and meaning.

I think the late American writer, radio host and truth-seeker William Cooper was on the right track when he offered the following advice to the rest of us:

“Read everything, Listen to everybody. Don’t trust anything unless you can prove it with your own research.”

~ William Cooper 1943-2001

Joel Skousen’s Four Steps Towards Truth

In the following excerpt from the article ‘HOW TO ANALYZE THE NEWS AND WHAT GOES ON AROUND YOU’, political scientist Joel Skousen offers, I feel, priceless information and advice on how one can hope to discern truth from manufactured falsities, especially in regard the media.

Be warned, it does border on the conspiracy near the end, but all I ask is for you to have an open mind and try not to immediately dismiss Joel’s seemingly unconventional views (which proves my point if indeed you react negatively. We have been conditioned to believe implicitly the popular and accepted view over a more polemical alternative – even though the totally dismissed controversy may in fact be true) as a case for him to be locked-up in a padded cell.

Just keep the following quote from my old grumpy friend Arthur in mind when reading:

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”

~Arthur Schopenhauer

As Joel Skousen writes:

1. Reliable Sources: No journalist or historian bases his writings on original material, except when relating what he or she personally experiences. This world is much too big with much too much going on for anyone to directly witness anything but a small fraction of life’s happenings. Thus, we all have to rely on sources of information. As all of my readers know, most of the world has become heavily reliant upon the establishment media. People are busy, with little time to study and analyze current events. So they scan the front page each day, or watch the TV evening news, relying on these easy, quick sound bites to “inform” them about the world.

Almost everyone who gets this minimum dose of daily news thinks that they know what is going on in the world. This is not so, even though the media rarely tells an outright lie. What writers and editors do is purposefully omit key pieces of information that would significantly change people’s opinion about what is being presented. This brings up the first rule in finding reliable sources. Search for someone who is skeptical of the official version, and who searches out key information that has been withheld by establishment sources…

2. Education and Experience: I don’t accept anything in the news at face value without comparing it to what I already know is true. The greater the body of true knowledge that you possess, the easier it is to see fallacies and falsehoods. The more shallow your store of “facts” and true experiences, the harder it is to scrutinize new information, especially when it falls outside your limited area of expertise or experience. Those who come from a home where learning is a continuing affair enriched by good books and alternative news, and not confined to television and establishment schools exclusively, have a head start in this process. In public schools students develop a body of “knowledge” in the social sciences and historical areas that is politically skewed and largely distorted. Because these “truths” are repeated by everyone and assumed true, even good people can sometimes become resistant to changing their minds. All of you who have tried to introduce others to evidence of conspiracy and corruption in government know what I mean.

Regardless of your background, the best way to become a critical thinker is to start reading argument-oriented commentaries on various subjects. The best source of such commentaries is transcripts of debates where contrasting presentations are given on two opposing issues, followed by a counter to each view and lastly a counter to the counter. That’s what it takes to really see error. States that publish voter pamphlets often use this format for initiatives. Also, the Foundation for Economic Education (FEE) each month publishes “Ideas on Liberty,” a collection of confrontational essays directly countering bad ideas in economics, law and politics. It makes for stimulating reading, and is not difficult to understand. See www.fee.org on the web…

3. Using logic: It is not enough, however, to merely accumulate knowledge and facts like so many books on a shelf. You must also learn how to filter that information and assemble it into a realistic view of the world. Most people know how to draw a simple conclusion from a logical proposal: A = B and B = C. Therefore A must equal C. This is deductive reasoning. However, in a complex world filled with multiple layers of deception and sophisticated lies, it is inductive reasoning that you must master in order to analyze the news and put together a coherent view of modern history.

Inductive reasoning is much more difficult to master. It involves taking a wide sampling of seemingly random information or observations and picking out patterns of truth, sufficient to derive broader conclusions. There are several reasons why most people do so poorly at inductive reasoning. For one thing, few have access to a wide range of details to analyze in the first place. Much of the blame for this lies with the media and the school system, on which the vast majority of people are reliant for their information, and which systematically omits critical details. Even when more information and evidence is available, however, few people have the patience to remember the details, much less to sort through the conflicts and contradictions found in the details long enough to derive conclusions or see the patterns. Inductive reasoning takes a good memory and a lot of mental processing…

4. A Correct World View: We cannot understand how this world operates if we hold to a purely secular, evolutionary, or humanistic view. Even though the spiritual spectrum is mostly hidden to man on earth, its workings can be detected if one is sensitive to truth, and if one avoids offending the source of all truth by chronic violations of conscience. You cannot, for example, really understand the following conundrums about conspiracy without contemplating the possibility of Satanic control:

· The fact that people involved in the conspiracy for global control already have more money and power than any man can use. Why should these continue to push for global control?

· The generational affect. The conspiracy doesn’t fade or alter course after the death of key people. If the driving force were only an individual or a small group of megalomaniacs, they would be incapable of controlling the direction others would take after they are gone.

· The fact that the globalists, in prepping the world for WWIII and encouraging a Russian/Chinese nuclear preemptive strike on the West, would also destroy the wealth and power of these same powerful conspirators. Why would anyone do this?

These aspects of the conspiracy cannot be explained by conventional leftist anti-capitalist jargon about greed, power and class struggle—even though these do play a significant role. The thirst for control of oil is also part of the picture, but it doesn’t explain the globalists’ plan to risk partial destruction of the West in an effort to create a Hegelian conflict out of which people can be induced to give up national sovereignty and join in a NWO…

Please read the full version of this thought-provoking article here.

Mission Impossible?

Before I go, please allow me to remind my fellow truth-seekers about “The Mission”:

Your mission should you choose to accept it, is to:

turn off the TV and radio

dispose of the newspapers

question everything you have been told and taught to be true

inquire for yourself to discern what the truth may be – in other words, educate yourselves

Seek and gain the practical and beneficial knowledge that can actually help you to become conscious beings, self-reliant, self-determined, pragmatic and wise

Look within yourselves for the true answers towards achieving your aims in life – the truth and wisdom is within you to use to your advantage

Take responsibility for your own health, income, and general well-being

Liberate Your Mind with the Empowering Wisdom of Hip-Hop – Part 4

Jason Cooper — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 09:34:19 +0000

Arise my fellow humans and stand up for nature, humanity and self-knowledge!

Mr. Lif drops some wisdom in the following thought-provoking tune, as he advises humanity to reconnect with nature and our spiritual selves, and to turn away from divisive and destructive man-made machinations.

I have to agree with Lif in regard the ubiquity and popularity of today’s technology (iPad anyone?), which has inexplicably all but disconnected our consciousness from nature and one another – as I have previously written about in the post Living Consciously in a Technological World.

We have also become ever more dependent on this technology to help us live our lives instead of relying on ourselves, which is setting a dangerous precedence, especially regarding us ever achieving the most important goal – and that is, self-knowledge.

Most worryingly, Man’s ignorant capability of being able to destroy this planet with his mechanical toys because of war is becoming increasingly possible in this present climate of uncertainty.

Unfortunately, the evidence of all this is plain to see within myself, as I sit here alone at an inanimate object typing this blog, instead of being outside with the people that I love whilst basking in the sunshine and absorbing all the wonders that nature has to offer.

Mr. Lif – Arise Lyrics

Here’s a vision
Imagine a whole globe made with precision
Continents of brown soil with green grass
That compliments deep seas and trees with multi-colored leaves
Mountain ranges that survive through the ages
Plus show expressions of time on rock faces
Now gaze up towards the glorious sky
Only appreciated by a powerful eye
As I understand, man is to cherish the land
As we coexist hand in hand
But as time has past
Man has created a vast
Mass of trash that has the capability to smash
Your natural desire to explore your state of being and
Discover you fire
For instance when a child is born
It posseses no intelligence of hate or scorn
But as it learns of hard ways
It becomes tuned from its original nature
As we destroy nature in the name of cash
All justified by laws made by the legislature
You never say *rekcufrehtom* cause that claim they aims to
Seek justice but ain’t it a shame
That that isn’t the case yo we all are so tame
That we’re all fair game
Thats why they got our name
Address social security number
Even though where you bought your last rest
Or mattress have you saying
“Oh that’s just the way things are”
Then I explain that you’re so far from your core
You need to explore
I wake up in the morning in war and saw
And go look for more
Weapons being prepared for nuclear war
And then when I found some no this is to god, hit
The ground son
With strong winds to make the clouds run
Step up in the laboratory
Keep it mandatory
Their response: Inflammatory
Now their dome’s all puffed up
Cause they *kcuffed* up
Give me the data chips
I’ll reverse gravity
So mad they’ll flip
Show these *kcuffer’s* the light
The adequate side of the scene, natty dips
Mankind should feel the effects
As he rips through the environment
Mash up the Earth’s power as if
It were required
The whole things blowin a cold heart
Stand as he asks where the fire went
Trapped in an Ice age and while you’re defrostin’
I kick open the door and let some Holocaust in
Then I remain sober in the galaxy
Take the form of the sun
So I can shine emphatically
Then I shed light on the tragedy
Step aside just to make way for remorse and apathy
Then I perform something you can all see
As I change the climate from cold to balmy
As temperatures rise
I squeeze acid water out of the skies
To burn out your eyes
Cause you could never see what I devise
And get your five lives and nine tries
But usually nobody survives cause I
Elevated far above and beyond
So you could be bombed, crushed to dust
You can be harmed
You can be armed with shanks and tanks
Bayonettes, Missile Threats
Yet I still launch lyrical text
That gets so intense
It could disassemble all of those other meds
So you should fear what the god invents
Since I was sent under the name of Lif
Which means to upLif
It’s my never ending duty to attempt to shift your mind
From one train of thought to a more positive state
So then in turn you can create
Control your own fate
Rather than having those with wealth dominate and complicate
Living to the point where we’re all imprisoned
People we should all pick our minds Its’s Time!
Look at how the world is designed
It’s major
We should all walk out of our manger
And start to educate the nearest stranger
Ignorance has no remainder
I manifest, prophesize visions of danger
With seven lines I show you seven signs
Time’s of the essence
Choose before you lose your physical presence
Perpetuate wickedness or walk along the path of god
The force from which we were all created
Stand amongst prosperity
Or fall devestated
Another victim of hatred
In a land where nothing is sacred
Except for these thoughts that I share
With no fear – to make you all aware of the nightmare
I see you puttin in a little work but we’re not quite there
Climb out of your darkness, the light is quite clear
We’re still to concerned with jewels and hype gear
But I’ma drop my thoughts until you open your eyes…Arise
It doesn’t matter what your color creed race or size…Arise

Liberate Your Mind with the Empowering Wisdom of Hip-Hop – Part 3

Jason Cooper — Wed, 26 May 2010 07:53:33 +0000

The basic instructions before leaving earth is to pursue the true knowledge and wisdom to free our minds and live a righteous and joyful life, that’s according to hip-hop artist GZA.

As you will no doubt see in his lyrics, GZA’ s B.I.B.L.E is perhaps a true interpretation of what a holy book should be, as it instructs us on how we can become like gods and make this planet a heavenly place to live.

The first things we must start with is ourselves, and to always seek truth no matter what…

GZA feat. Killah Priest – B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) Lyrics

Basic instructions before leavin’ Earth
Basic instructions before leavin’ Earth
Basic instructions before leavin’ Earth

Chorus:(X2)
Life is a test, many quest the universe
N’ through my research, I felt the joy N’ the hurt
The first shall be last N’ the last shall be first
The basic instructions before leavin’ Earth

(Killah Priest)
Knowledge this wisdom, this goes back when I was twelve
I love doin’ right but I was trapped in Hell
Had mad ideas, sad eyes N’ tears
Years of fear, but yo my foes couldn’t bear
I searched for the truth since my youth
N’ went to church since birth, but it wasn’t worth the loot
That I was payin’, plus the prayin’
I didn’t like stayin’ cuz of bizzie-bodies
N’ dizzy-hotties
That the preach-ass souped up with lies
Had couped up, lookin’ at loot, butt N’ thighs
During the service, he swallowed up the poor
N’ after they heard this, they wallowed on the floor
But I ignored, N’ explored my history that was untold
N’ watched mysteries unfold
N’ dropped the jewel like Solomon, but never followed men
Cuz if you do your brain is more hollow then
Space oblivia, or the abyss
With no trace of trivia, left with the hiss
Does it pay to be deaf, dumb, or blind
From a slave he was kept from the mind
N’ from a caves he crept from behind
N’ what he gave was the sect of the swine
When the bible, that condemned the pig
I don’t mean to pull your hems or flip your wigs
But we used to wear a turban, but now were in the urban
No more wearin’ beanies or dress like the genie
No hocus pocus cuz I focus on the facts
N’ put it on the track or brought it through the wax
I speak on Jacob, it might take up some time
N’ too much knowledge, it might break up the ryhme
I did it anyway, just to wake up the mind
Of those who kiss stones or prays on the carpet
Those who sit at home, or sell books by the market
Need to chill N’ get their mind revived
For years, religion did nothing but divide

chorus(X2)

I strolled through the books of Job to unfold
N’ opened bibles, instead of hopin’ on revivals
Callin’ on his name N’ screaming Halleluja
When he hardly knew ya, that’s how the devils fooled ya
See, look into my eyes brethren, that’s the lies of a Reverend
Why should you die to go to heaven
The Earth is already in space
The bible I embrace
A difficult task I had to take
I studied till my eyes was swollen
N’ only arose when I found out that we were the chosen
I deal with the truth N’ build with the youth
N’ teach my son as he kneels on the stoop
Son, life is a pool of sin, corrupted with foolish men
N’ women with wicked minds who build picket signs
To legalize abortion, the evil eye extortion
I quiz some with my wisdom
Before I converted I was perverted
N’ knowledge was asserted
The study of wisdom, I perferred it
The understandin’, it gave me mental freedom
I even learnt Caucasians were really the Tribe of Edam
The white image of Christ is really Cesare Borgia
N’ uh, the second son of Pope Alexander
The sixth of Rome N’ once the picture was shown
That’s how the devils tricked my dome
I prophesized to save a man but no one gave a damn
For my nation, the seed of Abraham
Blessed with the tongue of Hebrew
Now we’re strung on needles, N’ some are plungin’ evils
So study N’ be wise in these days of darkness
Peace to my nephew Marcus

chorus

The 10 Biggest Misconceptions That Prove We Don’t Need No Education

Jason Cooper — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 08:31:14 +0000

Are kids taught lies just for them to fit into the system?

In writing this post, the Pink Floyd song “Another Brick in the Wall” comes to mind when listening to the lyrics and analysing the meaning behind them in regards what we are taught in school.

Let’s now take a look at some of these lyrics shall we?

We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it’s just another brick in the wall.
All in all you’re just another brick in the wall.

“Wrong, Do it again!”
“If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you
have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?”
“You! Yes, you behind the bike sheds, stand still laddy!”

~ “Another Brick in the Wall” from the 1979 album “The Wall”

The lyrics above should encourage us all to ask the following questions:

Do teachers, and the Educational System in particular, actually teach us any truth, especially in regards history and the so-called facts of life?

Why don’t they have the integrity to teach us truth, critical thinking skills and the art of living wisely, rather than irrelevant information that only serves to dumb us down?

Is there indeed a hidden conspiracy perpetrated by those in power to use the educational system as a tool of propaganda, so to serve their eventual goal of total mind-control over the masses?

Here we go again…not another God Damn Conspiracy Theory!

The pertinent message behind Pink Floyd’s lyrics (well, what I personally seem to perceive) is that there may be a hidden agenda to indoctrinate us with lies by telling us what they want us to believe.

The reason for this apparent deception could be for us to become another mindless but obedient slave that is carefully prepared to fit into a “metaphorical wall” of a society that would love nothing more than for us not to upset the status quo…Phew! That was a mouthful.

See, I said it without having the feeling that the men in white coats will arrive to put me away anytime soon…and no, I’m not re-enacting a scene from out of George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four – although, I do sometimes feel like Big Brother is everywhere with his million and one CCTV cameras watching my every move as soon as I step out my front-door.

What I’ve just intimated about the educational system may sound like I’m becoming a borderline “paranoid conspiracy nut” but after reading the following humorous but eye-opening post by Paul Jury, there may be some truth to my observations.

Here is an excerpt of the aforementioned post The 10 Biggest Misconceptions We Learn In School:

I do some teaching, and my kids are constantly turning in essays with tragically inaccurate examples, like “When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb…” or “Even Einstein got bad grades in school…” which society has for some reason decided to convince them are true. Actually, my kids are turning in examples more like “When Edison invented the atomic bomb…” or “When Ben Franklin signed the Magna Carta…” but that’s mostly just a function of my kids being morons.

Anyway, yes, I said inaccurate, because those two statements – and many more like them – are classic instances of egregious common misconceptions. I’ll admit: before I started looking into it, I thought these were true, too. So in an effort to straighten things out – and also get to make fun of history – here comes the truth about 10 of the most widely believed misconceptions out there.

1) Einstein got bad grades in school.

Um… have you heard about this guy Einstein? Famous physicist? Relativity and all that? A genius, even? I’m pretty sure little Albert could handle his business in 4th grade arithmetic. Yes, contrary to popular belief, Einstein was a top student in elementary school, getting mostly “4″s (on the German grading scale of 1-4), which idiot Americans later assumed, backwardly, were “D”s. The idea stuck because everybody loves the idea that their poor student can go on to great things. Sorry, parents, Einstein was teaching himself calculus at age 12. Your little lip-twiddling retard will be working at Hardee’s.

2) Mice like cheese

Why would mice like cheese? Processed cow milk is not exactly available to them in their natural habitat, is it? No, mice MUCH prefer peanut butter, breakfast cereals, and other things similar to the grains and seeds they’ve gotten used to over millions of years of evolution. In fact, some mice are even lactose intolerant and will die if they eat cheese. In short: f–k you, Tom and Jerry.

3) Napoleon was short.

Nope. Napoloean was 5′7″, average height for a Frenchmen of the time. I don’t think he was particularly angry either, though we seem to have no trouble citing him as both the paragon and origin of the “short man’s syndrome” so common at New Jersey nightclubs. The confusion came from the difference between the British inch and the French ‘pouce’, which was longer, and made Brits think Napolean was only around 5′3″, a misconception which British propaganda was only happy to propagate.

4) Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.

Edison was a smart mother f–ker, but he didn’t invent the light bulb – somebody else had already done that by the time he started fiddling with the idea. Edison did, however, invent the first light bulb that actually worked well, at the same time as another guy, Joseph Swan. Edison got to be famous for it though, because he beat Swan in ro-sham-bo, and then bitch-slapped him.

5) Lemmings throw themselves over cliffs to commit suicide

What, are lemmings retarded? Yes, mass suicide sounds like a wonderful evolutionary trait to have built into your species to ensure its survival. Lemmings do no such thing, except occasionally when they’re drunk at bachelor parties. This great misconception was perpetrated by none other than Disney, who, in all their evil, decided their early nature film “White Wilderness” would be much more awesome if it showed a bunch of rodents flinging themselves off cliffs. They were correct, of course, but that doesn’t make this “phenomenon” any less B.S…

Please read the rest of this excellent post here…

The lesson here is: Conspiracy or not, there may be some credence to my thoughts regarding the educational system having sinister plans to propagate lies – common sense alone should tell you that.

Despite my mischievous mind, perhaps there is a real case for parents to question what the children are really learning at school, and if needs be, to have the freedom of choice to take them out of state education as soon as possible so to take on the task of educating them at home…that’s if they have the time and patience.

Mind, if you are indeed one of the few parents that home tutor their children, then always remember to teach them nothing but the truth, and to encourage them to think for themselves. Otherwise, you may end up with a kid that is as lifeless and thoughtless as one of Pink Floyd’s bricks.